“Congratulations, Mrs. Crolley, you’re pregnant.” 10 years of doctors and fertility specialist have finally paid off. My husband and I were finally going to have our child. From that day we planned everything in his future, we thought…. When you become a parent the last thing you expect to do is bury your child.Our beautiful child is supposed to live longer then we do. He is supposed to grow up, become an adult. Discover what the world has to offer. Decide where to live and how to live. He was just supposed to live.
On April 18, 2007 I opened my door. I remember there was a lady and a gentleman. I remember he said, “Mrs. Crolley, I’m sorry but your son died on his way to school.”
That’s all I remember of that day. Later I found out that my son’s death was completely preventable. He had someone in his car and he wasn’t legal for that yet. He was distracted because they were messing around with the CDs and the stereo when he should have been watching the road. And he was traveling at an extremely fast speed. If you add a hill, tight curves and one very large unmoving, unforgiving tree, you have the makings of a completely preventable death.
That day, April 18, 2007, I lost Joshua Lamar. My son, My only child, My light of my life and My best friend.
What seemed to be an ok idea, “ok, you can drive to school today.” Had a very fatal end. As a parent I would say I wish I had a “do over”. But, at sometime you have to trust in your child. Trust that he or she will do the right thing.There was no drugs or alcohol in my son’s tox report from the coroner. By no means was my son an angel. So in a nutshell: Parents ask questions, when you think you’ve asked them all, ask them again. For the young adults out there, laws are set up not just to inconvenience you, but they are there to protect you as well. Please, please, please, don’t think that you drive really well and that an accident will not occur. One will happen weather it is you, a loose dog, a child in the street, someone on a bike or someone else in a car who did not see you. There is always a circumstance waiting to happen, don’t let it be you. Don’t let people influence who you are or how you drive when you get behind the wheel. Maybe you made it home safe today, but what about tomorrow? Please remember that driving is a privilege, one that if abused can kill in a second. You might see it coming or you might not.And lastly, the next time that you are in your car I want you to remember us, the other mothers up here today and the fathers, sisters and brothers who didn’t make it in here today. When you get that feeling to speed or make a phone call on cell phone, ask yourself, is it worth it. I want you to think of us, and the kids our kids who are not with us anymore, and ask yourself “is it worth it.” sometime you have to trust in your child. Trust that he or she will do the right thing.There was no drugs or alcohol in my son’s tox report from the coroner. By no means was my son an angel. So in a nutshell: Parents ask questions, when you think you’ve asked them all, ask them again. For the young adults out there, laws are set up not just to inconvenience you, but they are there to protect you as well.
Please remember that driving is a privilege, one that if abused can kill in a second. You might see it coming or you might not.
Joshua L. Crolley June 12, 1990 to April 18, 2007
